Black Friday Sucks!

This season is one of the worst times of the year. These days, people become worse drivers, worse shoppers and worse human beings. And guess what? As a broke college student, you are directly in the line of fire.

Let’s set things straight: nobody cares about you. Why? Because you fall into one of two categories that make you a target of Christmas Nightmares. You are either A. a worker or B. a shopper.

1. Workers: if this is your first working Black Friday, have fun. You might think you know the pain of working at one of our Albany malls, but nothing will compare to seeing the soccer moms and child-spoiling dads push one another over for whatever you’re providing.

The problem: Just type in “Wal Mart Black Friday” in an Internet search bar and you’ll see all kinds of disturbing videos of people being trampled, spat on and worse. The problem with Colonie Center, for example, is that the mall is simply too small to fit all the people that will pound the door down at some ungodly hour.

That’s right, you’re going to take all types of abuse from people of all different walks of life. When it comes to the sales your store gives on Black Friday, some people will lose their religion to celebrate Jesus’ birth for less.

The solution is to get out of the way. But if someone mistreats you, put them in their place. Just remember that you have to keep your job. Remember? You’re broke.

2. Shoppers: If you are employed, but don’t have to work on Black Friday, you’re lucky. However, most people with an entry level or minimum wage job have to work that fateful day. If you can shop, here’s the deal: you have little or no money, not counting your parents finances or lack thereof. Either way, get over it.

You can’t have everything you want and no one wants you to have it all, either. The workers don’t want you, a fellow Hudson Valley student in their shop. The other shoppers don’t want you either. And you don’t have enough money to buy a PS4, anyway.

Your best bet is to stay home. It means one less car on the clogged road, one less window shopper and one less person to deal with at a crazier version of Macy’s surprisingly large number of “One Day Sales.”  You’ll probably save on gas.

Black Friday around the Capital Region seems to turn a generally good natured geographical area into a rather disgusting place. Shoppers, you don’t need that stuff. And to the worker, you should not have to deal with Black Friday. On behalf of the human race, I apologize.