Let’s Talk Disabilities-With Isabella Smarro
By Isabella Smarro, Managing Editor
Do you ever feel like no matter how much you try to make friends, at the end of the day you’re still looking? Effort only goes so far when you don’t know how to change your current perspective on life. Full disclosure, I’ve been struggling with this as well.
This column has been mainly about the support groups HVCC offers but I thought I would do something different this time. I’ve spent my entire life joining online and in-person communities that would in hopes bring me closer to making friends and allowing me to live my truth but still to this day, the friends side is missing.
I shall share what efforts I’ve taken to allow myself true happiness in my personal life. These include tips, summaries on online communities and physical activities.
Before I start, these are groups I’ve joined due to my likings. You do not need to join these specific ones but be inspired to try joining stuff yourself. I can give ideas, but it’s up to you to use them to create something amazing.
This past summer, I got a job as a camp counselor for the Boys and Girls Club of Schenectady. I spent seven weeks running activities, preparing lunch and hanging out with the campers. This may sound lame to some people, but for me, it was amazing! I got to play with kids, which I loved since I felt like I was more of a member than an employee. This job was a win-win for me since it offered lots of fun while paying well.
Now, what’s the lesson to be learned? If you get the chance to take some time and look deeply for a job that speaks to you, you should go for it. If that job says yes to you, life will be a little more satisfying. You’ll have a chance of making friends that share the same passions, and it feels more like a calling than an “I hate my job” vibe.
The job you have right now doesn’t need to be the same one next year. I’m 19 and I’ve had about five different jobs because I’m trying to find what fits best for me. In doing this, you can also see the connections between all of them. For example, I worked for a theatre camp while I was in high school, and now I work for a camp while I’m in college. This tells me that I like working with kids in an active environment. Finding a fit may take a while, but the process tells a whole bunch of juicy details on what my true purpose is.
Joining clubs at HVCC is very smart and fun. This college has over 50 different groups to choose from like Theater, Gaming Central and Pep Band. What’s nice is there is at least one that fits with your hobbies, so getting started wouldn’t be that hard. As a person who is struggling to make friends, joining as many clubs as possible is a step in the right direction. It’s a great way to make connections with people who like the same things as you and have a little fun during a busy college day.
I suggest at least trying it one day, even if you don’t think a specific group is a match. Through this, you’d start to grow confidence in making an effort without support from someone else. After a while, you have experience and you know how to use it for a group you really want to join.
Next up, is Allpoetry.com. This website is like social media for poets. You can add your pieces, while others comment on what could be improved. There are also contests with themes that you can join. This past August, I celebrated my first anniversary as a gold member. The longer you’re on it, the more medals you receive. As a poet myself, it’s nice to read other’s pieces to see what could inspire you, the people on AP are also super kind. Most leave paragraph lengthed comments that go into detail on what I could change about a poem.
If you love poetry, need to get your work out and noticed, would like to make some online friends and even get published in a book; AllPoetry is the place to go. The best part is that it’s free.
Social Media has many platforms that bring people with similar likings or disabilities together. For example, I have Russell Silver Syndrome, and Facebook has a group for people with health issues like mine. I may never physically meet any of the members but we all get to share our life stories. It’s inspiring when you read a story about someone with RSS who is a little older than you. You get to picture yourself at their age, what you will do differently in life to get there.
I think those groups do a perfect job of leaving out the stereotypical toxic drama of social media such as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook. Safety is a key element of a healthy social media account and these groups represent that. Facebook has groups for multiple disability communities, but also for fan groups. I joined one about “Friends”, and it’s super fun talking fandom with other people.
These are just some examples of online and in-person social groups you can join. Making friends and finding the right group of people is hard, but there are always others struggling with the same things you are. That’s why joining something to fill that emptiness is very important.
If you have any suggestions and/or would love to ask me a question, please email me at I-smarro@hvcc.edu.