Humorous

Trump declares the Hudsonian a credible source

Setodzi Avoke
Junior Copy Editor

Trump offers his official endorsement to Editor-in-Chief, Jenny Caulfield.
Trump offers his official endorsement to Editor-in-Chief, Jenny Caulfield. Graphic by: Isaac Kautz | Hudsonian
President Donald J. Trump has identified The Hudsonian as “unequaled” in it’s quality, and was declared as “real news.”

In the course of their meeting aboard Air Force One, Trump and Editor-in-Chief Jenny Caulfield of The Hudsonian found common ground.

Mutual recognition of degrading journalistic integrity across the media landscape, particularly regarding the tendency for other news organizations to report untruths and slanderous editorials about the president, led to the glowing endorsement found in some of the president’s recent tweets.

On March 30 at 2:12 a.m., the president tweeted the first of several tweets in praise of The Hudsonian while insulting other news organizations noted for their criticism of the president:

“Finished rereading an @nytimes interview I was in from a few decades ago—just as unfair to me then as they are now. They’ve been failing since their founding in 1851! It’s true! Meanwhile, @TheHudsonian has been strong since 1953!”

“#CNN’s ratings are tanking! Writing FAKE NEWS for CROOKED HILLARY hasn’t paid off. SAD! #MSM is getting schlonged by a college paper @TheHudsonian!”

“Based on the incredibly inaccurate coverage and reporting of the record setting Trump campaign, we are hereby revoking the press credentials of the dishonest Washington Post and giving them to @TheHudsonian.”

“We’re proud to have the president’s confidence backing our reporting,” said Caulfield, who regularly stresses the importance of impartiality, balance and accepting the official narrative without question to her staff.

“Jenny and her staff are really doing something big there at The Hudson, said Trump. ”You’ve got these young people, and, it’s tremendous, they’re doing tremendous big league work, but nobody is talking about it. It’s ridiculous,” said Trump.

Amid questions concerning when exactly Trump will put to action his campaign promise to “open up libel laws,” Trump said that Caulfield and the The Hudsonian provide a “ready example” for other news media organizations to follow before he considers any executive orders that would address fake news.

“Jen and her team—when you’ve got good people in the right place, they’ll—they’ll do good things, right?” said Trump.

Trump feels that The Hudsonian are accurately reporting on the issues, and avoiding, “gotcha journalism.”

“These are very good—smart kids, good genes, Hudson Valley Community College—and you know, if they were a four-year school, if they were a university, like, OK, if they were a private school, they would say they’re one of the best schools—it’s true!”

Trump admitted to planning to attend Hudson Valley after he graduated high school.

“[I] Went to Wharton, Hudson Valley was my first choice, but I couldn’t get in, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—but the truth is powerful,” said Trump.

“J explained that to me many minutes ago, the power, that was 35 minutes ago; she would explain the power of good journalism and she was right—who would have thought?”

Caulfield is focusing on The Hudsonian’s future after being given press credentials that allow the weekly paper to attend announcements made in the White House’s James S. Brady Press Briefing Room.

“The Hudsonian is very proud to be the first college paper in U.S. history to receive press credentials,” said Caulfield.

Although Caulfield and her staff feel “up to the task,” they’ll still need to conclude budget negotiations with Student Senate and campus administration.

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