Professors reveal their students’ worst excuses

By: Brianna Thompson

Staff Writer

Everyone’s had days where they’ve missed class for some reason, but some student excuses for skipping class are ridiculous or just plain made up. Professors have quite a bit to say on the worst excuses they’ve heard from students.

Danica Nowosielski, associate professor of chemistry, said a student had to miss a test because he had a dentist appointment for a toothache.  At first glance, that seems like a reasonable excuse. However, when he came in to take a make-up exam, Nowosielski asked, “How’s your tooth?” He replied with a baffled, “Huh?”

This seems like an unusual reply for someone who had just been through massive tooth pain, and Nowosielski got the impression that he had no idea what his excuse had been.  Hint for all those using this as an excuse: try to remember what you said to your professor so that they don’t catch your lie. Of course, it is helpful to not lie about it in the first place.  

Jamey Thompson, associate professor in the Biology department, was faced with a similar fictional response.  His student said that her car had lost a wheel and crashed into a tree on the way to class. This is a horrible incident that would allow missed work.  She even offered a slip from the repair shop signed by the mechanic, as if it were a doctor’s note, as proof. The only problem with her excuse – the slip was dated a week before the class she had missed. Oops!

English Professor Ethan Roy said one student missed a week of classes because she had to go to her friend’s cousin’s surgery.  Not sure a friend of a relative counts, but you have to give the student credit for trying.

A professor in the English department, Paul Charbel, described a student who missed two classes and said to Charbel, “Oh, I had to go back home because I had tickets to a football game, and it was important for me to be there.”  Charbel said, “That was very bold of them. You could have come up with something other than that, like a sick frog.”

A sick frog would be a very worthy addition to the list of fake excuses by students.  It might be good to add a little variety since many professors said car troubles are the most common excuse.  Although this can be a real problem, Alice Malavasic, professor in the history, philosophy and Social Sciences department, noticed a trend in the timing of students’ car troubles and said, “Everyone’s car breaks down when a paper is due.”

Other professors were a little more jealous of students’ excuses, like associate professor of English, Mary Evans, who said, “[Students] going on vacation; that’s always fun because I’m not on vacation.”  Some professors even admitted they made some outrageous excuses when they were in school.

Whether you are a professor or a student, everyone’s had their fair share of crazy reasons for missing class.  Maybe at one point you even said the iconic words, “My dog ate my homework.”